I guess it’s just one of those days, you know? Like, you woke up feeling meaningless and utterly alone. It’s like you’re watching how people just walk by doing their daily routine, living their miserable life’s, counting until their very last day. In some way you can feel like you’re watching them from far away, like you’re some kind of public, and they’re just acting for you. And it just seems like you’re not part of them, you are just here to exist. Like, you’re just staring at those characters called family, friends, community, just being they. Not involved in your existence. And you’re just sick, sick to the bones, but you can’t get enough of this sickness. Because you want to rot in your sickness, you feel like throwing everything you ever built, if there was something, and you want to disappear, for good.
Then you feel some pounding in your ribcage, there’s some tickling in your head, bursting ideas of rage and you feel an uncertainty that you just can’t get rid of. Is there anyone? Somebody to care, someone that can lick some old wounds, and appreciate an old soul. And you just watch other people that don’t deserve this type of appreciation.
After all this feelings and thoughts, you may feel tired. Like you just want to sit somewhere and melt and drain all that sickness away. There may be a place where you can rest and stay still for a while, from all that noise. You want to rest your dreary eyes, close them for some time, rest your hands from all that filthy surfaces that they have to touch and embrace for a living.
You’re just bored. And you’ll be bored after you’re dead. Nothing’s amusing, or interesting, everything seems so meaningless.
And you just can’t relate with the whole percentage of humanity. That’s a fact, you are nothing.